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As a psychologist and mental health expert, I’ve heard countless stories from women who leave their doctor’s office feeling demoralized. Through hot tears, they voice feelings of helplessness and outrage in their therapy sessions. Women with serious medical concerns are too frequently met with a dismissive response from unconcerned physicians who minimize their pain and disregard their observations and sensations.
This problem has deep roots in Western medicine. In my field, we certainly credit good ol’ Freud for his part in advancing the notion of “female hysteria,” which gave traction to the belief that female patients’ physical symptoms were due to psychological issues, not to legitimate physiological causes.
I see patients whose health has deteriorated because their body’s warning signs were not taken seriously. They’ve been told that their symptoms are merely a result of stress and anxiety and are advised to seek mental health support. They don’t feel heard or believed, leaving them angry and powerless to get the help they need. I have heard some women bemoan the reality that bringing their husband to an appointment bolsters their credibility and leads to better treatment.
Not only do women often not get the medical care and treatment they need, but those who experience this kind of dismissal can also begin to question themselves and lose trust in their own sense of their bodies. Those whose feelings were invalidated or shut down in childhood find this experience particularly triggering. They spiral into self-doubt, wondering what’s real and what’s a fabrication in their minds. This alarming slippery slope can lead to women disconnecting from themselves.
As a therapist, I strive to empower women to listen to their bodies and heed their signals. I empathize with their experiences at the doctor and validate their anger. I encourage them to slow down, breathe, and get back into their bodies to tune into and trust what they know to be true. For some, this means keeping a written log of symptoms. For others, it means helping them find the words to talk with their doctors and advocate for the treatment they need or want. Sometimes, it means encouraging them to find another doctor.
In talking intimately to women going through menopause, I find that the physical, endocrine, and emotional changes of this transition can profoundly affect their quality of life. However, growing up in a system that devalues women, particularly women of color and women in larger bodies, leads to a natural mistrust and reluctance to bring concerns to doctors. This is not okay! It leaves women without much-deserved intervention during a time when they need it most.
It’s crucial for women to feel heard and validated in their medical concerns. As a society, we must work towards creating a healthcare system that respects and addresses women’s needs, particularly during significant life transitions like menopause. Women deserve to be taken seriously and to receive the care they need to maintain their health and well-being.
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